The Happy Life or the Meaningful Life?

I recently read some fascinating research out of Stanford University that examines the happy life and the meaningful life.  I think it provides some insight for both leaders and graduate students, both of whom engage in activities that may require sacrifice and difficulty.  These actions may not make us happy in the immediate sense, but they add depth and meaning to our lives and those of others.

The full article can be found here, and I recommend it.  It’s not a lengthy piece.  Here are the points I’ve been chewing on since reading it:

1.  The happy life and the meaningful life are often not the same.  Meaningful experiences almost always mean that you will encounter stresses, obstacles, and challenges; otherwise, the opportunity for impact would not exist.  Examples would be parenting, doing social work, or being in graduate school.  Happiness is about getting what you want and need without challenges and struggles, which brings zing to our lives but not necessarily meaning.
2. Happiness is often about superficial things and taking, while meaning is about deeper relationships and giving.  Having coffee with a friend where you are silly and laugh a lot makes you happy but doesn’t ultimately provide much meaning.  Having coffee with a friend who you counsel and advise through a terrible personal situation may be stressful, but it has tremendous impact and meaning. 
3. The in-the-moment, “hakuna matata” mindset makes you happy but linking together past, present, and future increases meaningfulness. (You’re welcome for the hakuna matata earworm, by the way.)  The Stanford research showed that thinking about the past, present, and future makes you less happy but it’s the only way to create a more meaningful life.  

For most of us, our goal is to balance both superficial happiness and deeper meaning.  But I think this research could help with some of those more challenging...er, meaningful times.  The next time you have to talk to a colleague about something stressful or you have to sacrifice doing something fun to do your academic work, think about this idea.  Understand that you are increasing the meaning in your life and the lives of others through your actions today.

This research was somewhat surprising to me, as I’d never thought of happiness and meaning as so dichotomous.  What is your reaction?

I tend to believe that a meaningful life is the path to a happy life, but this research would seem to cast doubt on this idea.  What do you think?

How do you help colleagues, friends, and family to find create meaningful lives or find meaning in difficulty?

This Week’s Inspiration

This blog is written for the benefit of the graduate and professional students at the UGA Gwinnett Campus, and anyone else who’s interested in leadership topics.  We are located on a university campus, and it’s the time in our fall semester when inspiration, energy, and motivation are likely waning.  You’ve progressed through the multitude of duties, assignments, and tasks in the past few months and you have just a bit more to go before the academic part of your life can take a rest, if not the professional and personal. 

Leaders are called to inspire others, but they also must be inspired themselves.  So this week, I’d like to help you “fill your tank” with something positive that will help you push through this final part of the semester.  I’d like to share with you some Ted Talks that you may find will provide you with a little of that inspiration.  I recommend the talk by Steve Jobs on how to live before you die and the Shawn Anchor talk on the happy secret to better work.

Eat a Live Frog First Thing in the Morning, or How to Manage End of Semester Stress

It’s the time of the semester when everyone in higher education feels additional stress, but especially graduate students who are also full-time employees, and often parents and partners.  Everything is due, seemingly on the same day, and if any procrastination has crept into your semester, it’s starting to come back to haunt you.  Since stress management is such an important leadership skill, here are some high impact tips to use now and in the future.

 

 

Change your perspective. Mark Twain said, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.  Unless you enjoy frog sushi, you may not want to take Mr. Twain literally, but he clearly understood the role of perspective. Most people think of stress as being an inevitable reaction to the number of stressors in your life.  That’s not totally true.  Your stress level is largely dependent on you mindset, your perceptions and beliefs about your circumstances, so, for example, if you believe you must always be perfect, you will be constantly stressed because you will almost never hit that mark.  The good news is that you can change that by changing those perceptions.  One tool is reframing, so practice noticing your stress-inducing thoughts and changing them in a positive direction.

 

Exercise.  I know, I know.  You don’t have time to breathe, let alone break a sweat.  The fact is, exercise is such a powerful stress reliever that it should be one of your top priorities on a regular basis.  It should be scheduled in like any other appointment.  So make time to get some exercise and you will feel better and most likely be more productive.

 

Take breaks, preferably to laugh. In addition to exercise, laughter is one of the best stress relievers around.  Also, we know from research that working for too long without breaks reduces our productivity.  So take a few minutes to find something funny and see if you are not refreshed and more productive.  Humor is highly individual, but you can try these sites for a few chuckles:

http://www.funnyordie.com/

http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/

 

Prioritize.  Oprah once said, “You can have it all, just not all at once.”  Given your likely overloaded schedule, you must make choices.  That’s what prioritizing is about.  Take a moment to think about the values and goals that are most important to you, and make sure to limit yourself to three or four. Write them down, post them where you can see them, and use them as a decision filter.  Spend your time on those things that are most important to you and put the other things that don’t directly serve those goals in a “later” file.  So, if you have two papers and a presentation due this week, a full-time job, and other family duties, focus on the things you must do to maintain your health, well-being, and progress…and let go of the others.  You can make homemade cookies for the bake sale next time. 

Take a few moments to manage your stress and you will reap the return on your investment immediately.