Why Be a Networker When You Can be a Connector?

We’ve heard lots of advice over the years about networking and its importance to leadership and career development.  While I would never deny that relationships are important to leadership, there may be an even better way to build them than networking, and that is connecting. 

Many networking events are about what you can get out of them, so they can be a bit self-serving, but connecting is about what you can do for others.  Are you very curious about lots of topics, have high energy and are comfortable with meeting new people (or at least willing to work through discomfort of shyness)?  Then you may be more of a connector than a networker.  You can use those abilities to help out those you connect with, which in turn builds relationship in less of a self-serving way that networking might. 

How can you connect?  One way is to join groups, clubs and organizations but only those that pertain to what you love.  Learn as much as you can and get to know people you meet, which should be easy because you have something in common.  Give thought to how you might help them and who in your contacts list might help them, too.  And then do some connecting.  People remember this and it helps build great relationships with them. 

If you work in a competitive field, you don’t have to sell out your own interests to connect.  Use good judgment to not hurt yourself in the connecting process  – if you’ve got your eye on a job opening, connecting doesn’t mean you have to call all your contacts to advertise this position to them, too.  Connect people without thinking about immediate payback, and you’ll find over the long term that you get more back than you ever could have dreamed. 

Want to know more, including what connection advocates like Malcom Gladwell (The Tipping Point) and Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone) suggest?  Find out here, in the article from which this summary was derived. 

Does your resume tell your story?

Whether you are actively searching for a new job or satisfied with your current position, it's always good to keep your resume or CV updated and polished so that it is ready.  Opportunities can happen very quickly -- an impromptu conversation with a senior colleague at a conference or event, often when you're not "in the market" -- and it's so easy to let accomplishments go by without being noted in your professional record.  You don't want to be scrambling to update and refine when you get an unexpected, "Hey, send me your resume and we'll talk more!" request.  January is a good time to do that update and, as you do, a question to ask yourself is whether your resume says enough about who you are, your values, and what you bring to prospective employers.  We've all been told to keep our descriptions brief but it's important not to edit so much that you lose context.  Check out this interesting piece with an example of a resume makeover that better tells a candidate's story.

Tune Out, Turn Off and Think Big Thoughts

Are you old enough to remember when you weren't able to be reached all the time, 24/7/365?  I regularly reminisce about the days when I could go to professional conferences and be truly gone.  No checking emails, texts, cell phone messages and other ways we stay tethered to work and each other. I could absorb what I was learning, think about how it connected to my work and connect (and re-connect) with colleagues in a meaningful way.  I miss those days and am taking steps to get them back.

I'm not a Luddite.  I like my smartphone, social media (hey, I'm posting on this blog, right?), and other ways to connect.  I just think, as does this author, that we need to stop all the frenzy -- and the insecure, "busier than thou" superiority and need to be needed that sometimes goes along with it -- and just...stop for a minute.  Think.  Think deeply.  Face whatever comes up when we give it space to emerge.

What do you think?  How do you make room for time to reflect and think?

http://www.fastcompany.com/1700298/what-happened-to-downtime-the-extinction-of-deep-thinking-and-sacred-space

Seven Bad Habits of Highly Ineffective Leaders

After training thousands of managers and executives on how to coach and communicate more effectively, one theme persists – frustration. There are a lot of managers who believe their lives would be much easier if their people “sucked less.” My job is to challenge the leader to see how their own performance impacts that of their employees.

Performance Problems Require Leadership Solutions

Chances are that your employees do not lack the knowledge, skills or attitude to be successful performers; they need more leadership and mentoring.

One of my mentors shared many lessons on effective leadership.  Like most people, I associated “lessons” with the difficult task of learning something new.  But the easiest and most effective lesson was learning to stop unproductive behaviors.

Even if you don’t exhibit all of these behaviors, it may be useful to see if they exist in the smallest way.  So, here are seven things to stop doing.  I call them the “Seven Bad Habits of Highly Ineffective Leaders,” or “How to Suck Less for Success.”

The Behaviors

1.       Stop complaining.  It’s easy to complain, especially if it takes attention away from your own performance. Never forget that you are part of the team – when you disparage any of your people you are also commenting on your inability to manage them well.

2.       Stop giving your opinion. When someone brings an idea to you, don’t judge it immediately. Get in the habit of saying “Great job, I’ll spend some time on this and get back to you in a day or two.”  At least if you have some criticism of their work, you can take some time to find what was good about it to talk about at a later time.

3.       Stop exaggerating.  I know this one may be tough, because you don’t think that you do it at all. Consider that when you really take a look at all those problems you are having with your people, you might be making mountains out of mole hills.   Make a list of all the activities that you expect your people to do on a daily or weekly basis.  Put a check mark by all the ones that are not getting done to your satisfaction.  How bad is the output to the overall goals of your team?  Do those activities control a significant portion of your team’s output?  If not, stop putting so much importance on things that don’t really matter.

4.       Stop jumping to conclusions.  Especially when it comes to assessing what your people are and are not capable of - knowing their strengths and weaknesses is only part of the equation. Do you understand what motivates them and how they define success? It sucks when your boss doesn’t know how to help you meet your goals.  So suck less by seeking first to understand where your people will excel naturally and where they need your help to improve their performance.

5.       Stop resisting feedback.   I have a group of friends who cling to one great statement.  They say, “If three of us tell you that you are dead, lay down.” Stop ignoring all the great feedback that you are getting from your direct reports. They are giving it without saying a word, but you have to pay attention.  Watch how they react when you speak.  Notice what happens when you walk into a room.  Wake up and stop ignoring all the signs your team is giving you.

6.       Stop pretending you know everything. If the people around you want your input, I promise you, they will ask.  Your team solves problems and takes care of customers or clientele – they’re not there to take dictation when you drop your brilliance on them. Be the one that asks questions and discovers knowledge amongst your employees. Acknowledge them for what they know and they will know how much you care.

7.       Stop doing it alone. Donald Keough, former CEO of the Coca-Cola Company once said, “What separates those who achieve from those who do not is in direct proportion to their ability to ask for help.”  Of all the above behaviors that you could stop in order to suck less, interrupting your sense of having to “do it alone” may be the most important.

When you ask for help, you give up most of the other seven bad behaviors:  You get immediate feedback on the real size of the problem; you give up your own opinion about the limitations of others; you stop complaining and get into action; you solicit the opinion of others; you give up the right to ignore feedback; and you give up pretending you know everything. And best of all, you give up the stress of “doing it alone” and you already know how much that sucks.   So do one move that doesn’t suck and you remove seven bad habits that do.

Dominic Carubba is a graduate of UGA Gwinnett Campus’s Instructional Psychology, Training and Technology program.  He is a Certified Performance Consultant and a champion of the power of the human spirit.  He works with owners, managers and executives to make them more human by teaching them to coach and communicate more effectively so that they are less stressed and their people are more productive.  He operates the Center for Performance Solutions where he has coined the phrase “Performance Problems Require Leadership Solutions!”  You can reach Dominic by email: Dominic@PerformanceSolutionsCenter.com.

Twelve Attributes of a Truly Great Place to Work

Here is a great article from the Harvard Business Review about the attributes of a great workplace.  What do you think about these attributes?  Are there any that you would change, add or delete?  

I was particularly intrigued by the napping suggestion.  Read his post on that before you judge it.  Giggling at the image of an executive with a blankie and a teddy bear is allowed, though.  :-)

http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2011/09/the-twelve-attributes-of-a-tru.html

Leadership = Commitment

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

~~William Hutchinson Murray

The following is a summary of “Commitment” by Ashlee M.  Kerkhoff and Daniel T. Ostick, a chapter in Leadership for a Better World.  The full citation is below.

As you know if you’ve been reading this entire series, the Social Change Model (SCM) of leadership development is all about change.  Commitment, the final “C” in the model, is one of the determining factors in leadership and is necessary to facilitate change. Because leadership is not a one-off, momentary thing but is accomplished on a daily basis, it requires persistence.  There are many factors working against change, no matter what setting it’s accomplished in. The strength of your commitment is usually the deciding factor between persisting (and accomplishing change) or giving up.

Supportive Environment

Commitment is closely related to passion, motivation and the self-efficacy.  External motivators like money certainly exist, but their effects are usually short-lived.  Almost all sustainable motivation is intrinsic.  Although it can’t be provided to you, motivation (and commitment) can be fostered by a supportive environment.  Have you ever been very committed to something but became worn down by the environment in which you had to enact that commitment?  If so, you probably left and found a better place to engage with the subject of your commitment (or you plan to at the first opportunity).  Much talent is lost in this way.  It is crucial, therefore, that leaders provide a supportive environment that feeds their team members’ commitment.  There are many ways to accomplish this, but recognition for good work is one.

Avoiding Burnout

Even the most committed individual or group in the most supportive environment can burn out.  Stephen Covey talked about “sharpening the saw” (Covey, 2004) and he was right.  If you don’t take time for self-care and renewal, you will eventually find yourself without the energy and commitment to go on.  Busy people often forego this, but it’s a short term gain in progress on the “to do” list at a much larger, long-term loss in fuel for commitment.  You may go an extra mile or two on those fumes in your tank, but in the end, you’ll be stranded on the interstate…at night…with no cell phone. 

Connection to the Other Cs

If you review the other factors (or “Cs”) in this model, it’s easy to see how Commitment relates to them.  Can you persevere through Controversy with Civility, or find Common Purpose, or have Congruence between your values and actions without Commitment? It’s highly unlikely.  Commitment is, therefore, an integral part of the SCM.

References

Covey, S.R. (2004).  The seven habits of highly effective people:  Powerful lessons in personal change.  New York City: Simon & Schuster.

Kerkhhoff, A. M. & Ostick, D. T.  (2009). Commitment.  In Komives, S. R., Wagner, W. & Associates (Eds.), Leadership for a better world: Understanding the social change model of leadership development (pp. 365-391). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Image source: http://www.leadershipstudy.net/ir-theoretical-model.html

)

Leadership = Congruence

The following is a summary of “Congruence” by Tricia R. Shalka, a chapter in Leadership for a Better World.  The full citation is below.

The sixth value, and the second individual value, in the Social Change Model  (SCM) of leadership development is Congruence.  Congruence is defined behaving in a way in which your values and your actions match.  It has also been called authenticity and integrity and at the core of all these words is honesty. 

A life lived in Congruence has a certain look to it, and it isn’t always easy to do.  Acting in congruence means you give time and energy to the things you say are important.  If you say your family is most important but you choose to work 80 hour weeks and, via technology, are never truly with your family 100%, is that congruent with saying your family is most important?  Probably not.

Not having congruence leaves you with two choices:  You either need to change your actions to bring them in line with your espoused values, or you need to be more honest with yourself and others about what your values really are.  Honesty is, therefore, the core of congruence.  Without honesty with yourself, you can’t be truly honest with others, nor can you fault them for being less than honest with you.

This congruence between values and actions applies not just to what you do, but how you do it.  One of the most well-known examples of this is Gandhi.  It was important to him that India obtain independence from Great Britain but the way that independence was gained – non-violently – was as important to him.  He knew that his values must be applied not only to the ends they attained but the means they used to do it.

While most of us are not faced with dire situations like Gandhi, it’s easy to see that living in congruence takes another C, and that’s courage.  If you’ve ever said to someone, “I don’t really think that joke is funny” or “Is this really fair?” or otherwise stood up when others were sitting down on an issue, you know that it isn’t easy to live your values.  It can make you unpopular and it can be awkward but it is necessary to take congruent positions in order to facilitate change.  Leadership, as we’ve discussed in this blog, is about change and change cannot happen without occasionally changing something that others may want left alone. 

One of the major challenges to congruence is how you balance your values with those of others.  You may believe you are taking a principled stand on something that someone else opposes equally as strongly, and you both may be congruent with your values.    That’s when the espoused values of the group should be invoked in dealing with conflicts – including Controversy with Civility --  so that a solution can be devised that corresponds with the group’s values. 

Congruence is strongly connected to the other “Cs” in the SCM.  Congruence requires courage and Consciousness of Self to enact regularly, but it inspires the respect of others and is fundamental to leadership of all kinds.

Reference

Shalka, T. R.  (2009).  Congruence.  In Komives, S. R., Wagner, W. & Associates (Eds.), Leadership for a better world: Understanding the social change model of leadership development (pp. 335 – 364)). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Image source: http://www.leadershipstudy.net/ir-theoretical-model.html)