Can You Hear Me Now? But More Importantly, Are You Listening?

Think back to your best supervisors, teachers, volunteer leaders, clergy members, or other leaders you’ve come in contact with.  What made them great? Chances are that good listening skills are one thing that made them stand out.  This is not surprising.  One of Stephen Covey’s habits is “Seek first to understand, then be understood” and many prominent leadership educators have focused on this topic as well. In last week’s profile of Michael Mack’s failure and eventual success, listening to others was a key factor. 

Most people think they are great listeners, but they may only be great at hearing.  True listening means hearing with an open mind, with a willingness to be changed by what you hear, and that gets increasingly harder as our lives get busier, our list of devices grows, and our media diet becomes ever more saturated.  Even after you are attentive, you have to be an active listener and that takes practice.  Want to know more? You can find a brief but useful summary of specific skills to practice here. 

Why not spend the weekend practicing these active listening skills?  As you talk with individuals you encounter or even as you do reading or other homework, spend more time asking questions and learning about those you encounter, or the content you are studying, rather than focusing on what you think of the person or material.  When someone tells you a story about themselves, instead of telling one of your own, ask them questions about theirs.  You will gradually increase your skill level and you’ll strengthen relationships, too.  Happy listening!